


i'm still here (never again)

by jupiterrism



Category: Bumilangit Cinematic Universe, Gundala (2019)
Genre: F/M, everyone is sad, im sad too wtf, whump sancaka, wulan is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 12:22:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21208472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jupiterrism/pseuds/jupiterrism
Summary: Sancaka is nowhere near invincible and Wulan learns it the hard way.





	i'm still here (never again)

Wulan rushes to the hospital approximately 3 minutes after she receives the call — that's the amount of time spent to run down the stairs and jumps into a passing bus. Teddy is, luckily, still in school and while Wulan has no qualm in taking Teddy along with her, she still has some compulsions in dragging him around.

Nani had called her, practically shouting over the deafening roar of masses, and what twisted Wulan's guts was how her voice was laced with fear.

"Lan, Sancaka _ down _ , gue _ share loc— _" The phone call lasted only for fifteen seconds before Wulan hung up on her. Now she's a panting mess in the bus, clutching her phone and her small pack, praying fervently in the back of her head. She knows Sancaka's super healing ability and she has her faith in him, but worrying is her constant state so it's hard to calm down her roiling stomach.

The ride to the hospital takes her nearly half an hour and when she arrives, Wulan is a shaking, anxious mess. From the look people is giving her, she knows she looks as bad as she feels, maybe more. She knows fear, though she doesn't let it consume her, it nearly does. The image of Sancaka overcame by Pengkor's children, bloody and battered, keeps flashing behind her eyes. Fear is illogical, it's primordial, something ingrained in the back of her mind. Her hands tremble and she wills herself to stop.

Sancaka's room is in the VIP section, probably the most expensive room Nani could get in the name of privacy. The rest of the Patriots are huddled up in front of the surgery room, already shedding their superhero getup. Nani is pacing back and forth, a frown adorning her face, and she keeps glaring at a group of doctors nearby. Awang has an arm around Riani, his face blank but his sharp eyes darting around. Tucked under Awang's arm is Riani, her face ashen and crumpled with worry. Susie and Dhanus are sitting side by side and they both have their heads in their hands.

The sound of Wulan's clattering steps startles Nani into a full stop, eyes growing wide at the sight of her. Nani rushes towards her and Wulan has to catch her in her arms, in a bone-crushing hug. Wulan could feel fear and worry, also guilt, radiating from her — she's Patriot's leader, afterall. From above Nani's shoulder, Wulan catches Awang's gaze and his dejected look that crosses across his eyes is enough to make tears well up in her eyes.

"Nani, Sancaka—" she starts as Nani pulls away, the restless energy that she has tried to suppress has now returned. Nani stops her short with her hand, shaking her head.

"Dokternya belum keluar, belum ada yang bisa kasih tau gue sesuatu." Her voice is low and hoarse, and her hand is squeezing Wulan's. Wulan takes one shuddering breath, bringing a hand to cover her face. She's not going to let anyone sees her crying, no. From somewhere ahead of her, she catches Riani's worried gaze on her and as their eyes meet, Riani is already on her feet and launching herself on Wulan.

"Kak Wulan!" Her hug is nothing like Nani's — she speaks of comfort and somehow, she reminds her of Teddy. Wulan hugs her back just as tightly, still staring at Nani with pleading eyes. "Kenapa Sancaka bisa—?" Her voice cracks and she has to swallow down the beginning of tears.

"_ We were ambushed _ . Kita lagi beres-beres terus ada, _ I don't know _ , orang— they used gun. Sancaka udah ngga pake armor. _ We let our guards down _ dan tiba-tiba, Sancaka udah—" Nani stops abruptly and turns around, away from Wulan. She notices specks of blood staining Nani's hands, and as she's about point it out to the other woman, the door swings open. The doctor appears serious but not grim, and Wulan couldn't help but feeling relieved in the slightest.

"Gimana, Dok?" It's Awang, already rushing in towards the doctor, eyes wide with hope. The other Patriots are flocking next to him, holding their breaths.

She nods, a smile spreads across her feature and reaches out to pat Awang's shoulder. "Teman kalian akan baik-baik saja, pelurunya tidak mengenai bagian-bagian vital. _ He's still under anesthetic so he will be awake in 5 hours or so _." Next to Wulan, Nani lets out a relieved sigh and makes as if she's lilting aside. Dhanus has his arms around her, keeping her upright, but his eyes are bright with relief.

"Sancaka sudah kami pindahkan ke ruangannya. VIP, sesuai _ request _. Ruangannya ada di ujung lorong." Her eyes land on Wulan, peering at her in curiosity as she takes a step forward. 

"Apa kita udah bisa lihat dia, Dok?" The doctor stares at her for a moment before nodding her head, motioning Wulan to follow her. "Satu-satu, ya. Dari mbak yang ini dulu, yang lain tunggu." Giving a nod towards the others, Wulan rushes to fall into step with the doctor and they walk through the hallway in silence. Wulan feels dread settles into something like resignation, her stomach is no longer roiling. Sancaka will be okay, Sancaka will be okay — her mind keeps repeating the words like a mantra. Words of affirmation could do wonders to her.

The doctor gives her a smile as she shows her the room and Wulan quietly pushes the door open, peeking inside. The sight causes her breath to catch painfully in her throat — it's Sancaka, face ashen and lying unconscious in the hospital bed. While she knows it's probably for the best that they keep him sedated, she couldn't help the jolt of fear that runs through her. Wulan inches close, already reaching out for Sancaka's hand. His skin is cold against hers, and as she gives his hand a squeeze, his fingers twitch in her grip.

"San?" Wulan starts, a little wary, as she notices how Sancaka's eyelids flutter. She's already reaching out for the bell, but before she could sneak a press, Sancaka lets out a quiet whine. "Sancaka?" she repeats, letting go of the bell in favor to loom over Sancaka. The man grins up at her, staring through heavily lidded eyes. His smile is dopey and that's not something Wulan ever saw in Sancaka.

"Wulan." His voice is a drawl, dragging the 'a' before he dissolves into a giggle. Wulan blinks — what kind of anesthetic did they give him? But before she could ponder on it, Sancaka wriggles around with another noise, trying to kick the blanket that's coveriny him away. "Panas," he gives Wulan a pouty look, his hand giving hers a weak squeeze. "Wulan," Sancaka adds, now outright whining and Wulan just stares at him. She snorts out a laugh before stepping closer, propping herself on the side of his hospital bed and reaches out to smooth one hand through his locks. Sancaka leans into his touch, eyes fluttering close and appearing extremely content, his lips curling up into a smile.

Just as Wulan is about to withdraw her hand, Sancaka's eyes snap open — now with a degree of realization as his gaze lands on her. His expression is — Wulan realizes he's scared. His face is void of any emotion, but his eyes — Strapped to his hospital bed with an IV injection in his arm makes him look vulnerable and small, not to mention the way his face seems to contort into something. "Jangan pergi," Sancaka says after a moment, tongue clicking in an effort to drag the words out of himself. "Saya—" he stops, frowning to himself and tentatively reaching out for Wulan's other hand. "Saya ngga mau sendirian."

Wulan feels her eyes grow wide at the sudden confession and she finds herself blinking back tears all of a sudden. Her throat burns, but she gives Sancaka a smile, the warmest she could muster, and nods her head. She continues to stroke his hair, fingers running through the dark strands, and her breath slips out of her in a shuddering sigh. "Aku ngga akan kemana-mana, kok," Wulan murmurs quietly, Sancaka's eyes on her. "Aku ngga akan biarin kamu sendirian lagi." Maybe Sancaka could hear the furious edge in her voice, the underlying promise, and he _ beams, _face shining with joy.

"Tadi," Sancaka frowns again, lips forming a slight pout, "sakit." He untangles his hand from Wulan's grip to pat his side, where bandages are thick underneath his hospital gown. Wulan has no doubt that he's healed already, his healing power usually likes to surprise him, but the way his voice is still muddled, it fails to eat away the anesthetic. "Saya keinget kamu." 

Wulan's hand stops abruptly in its movement, heart leaping to her throat at his words. "Kok—?" Sancaka huffs, nudging her palm with his head to get her hand to move again. She obliges, though her heart is still hammering against her ribcage. "Saya takut," he murmurs, a giggle escapes his lips, "kalau saya mati dan saya ga sempat ketemu kamu." His voice has turned somber, eyes downcast. He's frowning, his brows drawn together, and Wulan leans in to smooth the space with her lips. Sancaka makes a surprised noise at it but he doesn't try to push her away. 

"'Kan aku udah bilang aku ngga akan kemana-mana," she murmurs against his brow, trying to keep her voice steady when in reality, all she wants is to wrap Sancaka in a bubble wrap and not letting him out ever again. She knows she can't do that — Sancaka won't let her anyway. "Ada teman-teman kamu yang bakal jagain kamu juga."

"Sekarang kamu tidur," Wulan adds, smoothing Sancaka's hair back, "tidur biar besok kamu bisa pulang." Sancaka gives her a weak nod and obediently shuts his eyes, head listing to a side. His hand is still holding Wulan's long after he delves into unconscious, with Wulan still absentmindedly rubbing her thumb across his knuckles. Never, never again — Wulan is never letting Sancaka out of her sight and she will do _ anything _ to keep him unharmed. She gives his hand a squeeze, shifting a little to tangle their fingers — a silent promise.

The Patriots file into the room several hours later, all huddled up but still manage to be quiet. They find Wulan asleep with Sancaka — she manages to curl up against Sancaka and gets her head nestled on his chest, one of his arms slung protectively around her shoulders. Nani smiles at the display of such affection, though it's tinged with sadness — _ she has failed him _. Though she knows that Sancaka is not on the brink of death, the sight of him lying unconscious on the bed doesn't sit well with her.

_ Never again _, Nani promises to herself as she lays a blanket over Wulan, and she knows the rest of the Patriots agree with her in their own ways.

**Author's Note:**

> i was planning to make this cute??? and fluff???? but look where it got me.


End file.
